“Chicks dig the long ball,” they said, and it seems baseball has wholeheartedly decided to take that sentiment to heart, much to the delight of fans—and the probable chagrin of pitchers. Baseball cards, once collected and revered for a player’s illustrious history and performance, are now getting a modern twist with the introduction of the “torpedo” bat—a game-changing piece of equipment that is making hitters look like home-run demigods and sending collectors into a frenzy.

This latest sensation in the baseball world, aptly tagged as “torpedo” bats for their stellar design and impact, promises a new era of batting prowess. Custom-crafted for each player’s unique preferences, these bats boast an aerodynamic shape making them perfectly suited for catapulting baseballs far beyond the fences. This radical innovation has already made quite the impression on the season opener, especially for the Milwaukee Brewers, who watched in awe (or perhaps terror) as the New York Yankees clobbered 15 home runs in their opening series against them, with nine in just a single game. Yankees fans are rejoicing, while pitchers might be brushing up their resumes or contemplating career changes.

For baseball card collectors, these performance transformations herald a golden opportunity. The writing on the wall is crystal clear: hitters are the new bull to bet on. And leading that stampede are players like the Yankees’ very own Aaron Judge. His cards, already highly sought after, are experiencing a meteoric rise in value even if he hasn’t officially switched to using the so-called torpedo. The logic here is simple: when your team is aiming for the fences and regularly hitting outer space, collectors are less concerned with who’s actually holding the bat.

Meanwhile, those who once heavily invested in pitchers are now watching their collectible portfolios with the same trepidation as a poor batter awaiting the torque of the torpedo bat. Remember last season’s NL Rookie of the Year, Paul Skenes? His cards, along with those of other promising arms such as Detroit Tigers’ Jackson Jobe and Los Angeles Dodgers’ Roki Sasaki, might be blinking red on collectors’ dashboards unless MLB steps in and balances the scales of equipment engineering wizardry.

Then there’s Shohei Ohtani, the Los Angeles Dodgers’ dual-threat wonder who could simultaneously challenge and rewrite the entire baseball narrative single-handedly. Ohtani, already a marvel on the pitching mound, might reconsider his stance and fancy becoming the league’s home-run king with a torpedo in hand. Dodgers fans and collectors alike are watching with bated breath, eagerly anticipating an avalanche of Ohtani magic that could bolster card prices further into the stratosphere.

Pitchers, now finding themselves at the sharp end of this reinvigorated era of long balls, might have to seek solace in revolutionary pitching techniques or discover new ways to combat these meteorites of maple wood. The sport is evolving, and as it leans heavily towards this bat-influenced offensive upswing, it’s clear that we’re witnessing an intriguing shift not just on the field, but with collectibles off the field too.

Collectors, it’s time to take note and perhaps reach for the stars. This torpedo-fueled trend demands bold speculation and, above all, a keen eye for the next potential baseball hero. Could they come from the roster of burgeoning new talent or the revered rungs of legendary sluggers, who with the aid of these torpedoes, redefine what it means to hit a home run?

As the dust settles on this initial explosion of home runs, and the accruing value of players’ cards continues to ripple across the markets, it would seem that the foreseeable future of baseball—at least from a spectator’s and collector’s perspective—is primed for exhilaration and lucrative prospects. Who knows, perhaps this will inspire a new generation of fans and collectors alike, drawn to the sport by a shift in the paradigm that promises excitement, glory, and the occasional literal out-of-the-park performance.

In this brave new world of bat-driven prowess, it’s anyone’s guess as to how the dynamics will shift once more. However, one thing remains certain: in the thrilling and ever-evolving saga of baseball card collecting, it’s the bat that calls the shots—and as for the balls, well, they’ve never been launched quite like this before.

Torpedo Bats on Topps Now